My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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