So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
