I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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