They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
