I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize