Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
