Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
