All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
