I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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