Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize