nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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