I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
