there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
This is the high leading the old right now
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize