yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
whose ass print is on the piano?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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