Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize