For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
