4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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