I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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