I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
