Taylor Swift is so right about you.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
