Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
