I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
