Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
