nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
