Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
