i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
