is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
