Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
