nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
