problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
