can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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