I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
