I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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