I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
