You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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