maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
