Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
