I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
True strength comes from lack of pants
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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