I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Everything about him screamed your future.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
