i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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