Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
last night I used snow as a chaser
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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