Don't make out with my wife yet
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
