i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
