Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize