Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
