I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
