I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Are we in a gay sports bar?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i barfeds in our rink
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
And the cops told us we were all naked.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
