We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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