no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
operation have a gay friend backfired
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
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