she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
