Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
