ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
