I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize