yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
don't judge my taste in strippers
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize