i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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