why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
