That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
