VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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