How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
