on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She bit a glass in half.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My penis needs a shock collar
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
