I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
