She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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