Im at strip club and am horny
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
